We all face times of loneliness and rejection. Sometimes we isolate, and inflict this loneliness on ourselves, and other times, we lose people from our lives and we find ourselves lonely.
Likewise, rejection can bring on loneliness when we react to that rejection by withdrawing from people and isolating ourselves. So, what is the best way to avoid isolation when we have been rejected? The first thing to remember is that rejection is more about the person who is doing the rejecting than the person being rejected. They have judged something you have said or done, and informed you that it was unacceptable, whether by speaking to you about it, ignoring you, or simply disappearing from your orbit altogether.
Once we recognize it is about them, we can evaluate if there was something we said or did that needs to be addressed. We need to take responsibility for how we treat other people. If there are numerous people pushing you away all at the same time, is there a reason. For example, if my family begins to pull away and give me some space, I need to look at how I have been treating them. If I have been angry and have been short and snippy with them, I can understand them withdrawing until I am not taking my anger out on them any longer. This is a simplified example, but it demonstrates how we need to look honestly at ourselves. This is not the same thing as believing that you are unlovable or unworthy of being cared for. Instead, it shows us if we have any responsibility for what is going on. If we are not responsible for it, then we need to let the other person sort through their judgements.
Judgement of others is a way to trigger not only rejection of other people, but loneliness as you push those people away. How do we stop judging others? Look at yourself through honest lenses. You are not perfect! Looking at all of your imperfections makes it easier for you to love others with theirs. No one is perfect, not one single person. When we understand this and embrace it, we can actually love people for who they are and not who we think they should be.
The loneliness that comes from loss is different. I lost my dad last July, and every time I need fatherly advice, I am very aware that he is not here. This causes loneliness and longing in my heart for him. I miss his smile, jokes, prayers, and so many other things. I have tempered this loneliness by allowing myself to remember and honor him. For his birthday, my husband and I ate foods that he would make for the family and we talked about him and honored the person he was. It helped me so much to be able to do that.
If you find yourself experiencing loneliness due to loss, what can you do to honor your loved one? How can you keep their memory alive? Another thing I have done to keep his memory alive is I have his picture on my phone. Find your way to remember so you don't feel so alone.
We will be talking about this topic in more depth this month with our "NOSA UNLEASHED" podcast found on Spotify, Amazon Music and IHeart Radio. We would also love to have you join us for our live webinar on Thursday March 6, 2025 @ 7pm. Just click the button below to register!
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