I have had varying experiences my whole life, some victorious but mostly difficult and filled with pain. For most of my younger life, I struggled with unrelenting anxiety, depression, hopelessness, self-hatred, lack of identity and suicidal tendencies.
When I look back, I can trace everything to the root of identity. If you are struggling, my question for you is, do you love yourself? When you look in the mirror, what do you see? Do you like the reflection? What are the thoughts that you have about yourself and your ability to handle whatever struggles you are facing right now? Do you see yourself as a victim? Do you believe you will overcome and have what it takes to persevere no matter what comes your way?
I hated myself; I thought I had no value and that no one would ever love me. The words of others became my definition of myself, and I could not deviate from that perception even if I tried. It wasn’t until I had a life-changing encounter with God that everything changed for me.
I despised myself; I couldn’t even look in the mirror because I hated what I saw. The words others spoke about me I took as my truth, and no one could convince me otherwise. The day that changed everything for me was one of the most profound experiences I have ever had. It changed everything for me and helped me realize that not only was I loved, but I was created for a purpose.
Here is an excerpt from my book “No One Stands Alone”
“In desperation, I cried out to God and said, 'If you do not do something, I will not live to see another day!” That day, God answered my prayer. My mom took our family to a church service, and as I sat in the pews listening to the man speaking, it was as if I was the only one in the room. The message he spoke was exactly what I needed to hear. I cannot even remember what he said; all I remember is that it was for me. At the end of his sermon, he said, “If there is anyone here who needs God to do a miracle in your life, come up to the front and we will pray with you.” I immediately stood up and walked to the front.
As I approached the altar, I knelt and put my head on the stage and began to sob, while saying to God, “If You don’t do something, I will not live another day.” Suddenly, I saw a picture form in my mind.. I was looking into a mirror. The reflected image was myself. It was the most hideous thing I had ever seen. It reflected what I believed and thought about myself. After a minute of looking into this terrible reflection, I saw a hammer come and break the mirror. The mirror lay on the floor in a thousand of tiny pieces of glass. I felt lost! If the hideous reflection was not who I was, then who was I ?
As I sat there devastated, not knowing who I was, I started to see the pieces of glass starting to come together to form a new mirror. This new mirror was put in front of me, and, once again, I was looking at my reflection. Only this time, the image in the mirror was beautiful. I then heard God’s kind, gentle voice telling me how much he loved me, how he created me and that I was beautiful and my life had a purpose.
That day, God freed me from the lies that I had no purpose or value. I have been on a journey with God, ever since, to discover who I am as well as my purpose. I have never struggled with suicidal tendencies or those feelings since.”
This was the start of the greatest change and transformation in my life. My core issue of identity had been resolved, and I was able to start fresh on a solid foundation of purpose. I have found this to be a common core issue of those whom I walk with in mentorship. They lack identity; they are held back by their fears, insecurities and perceptions about themselves that are often not rooted in the truth.
They have bought a lie that has held them captive in their thoughts and made it impossible to pursue life and purpose.
Where do you find yourself today? Do you relate to my story? Do you find it hard to get through your days because of anxiety, fear, depression, lack of purpose and identity? You will not find it in the words or actions of others.
You were created by God, and he has a purpose for your life. I invite you to go on a journey with God and have him speak truth and reveal the truth to you about who you are. Open your heart up to the possibility that there is more to this life than what you are currently experiencing.
If you want extra support in this area, please reach out to those you trust and be honest with them about what you are struggling with. Or if you are not sure where to turn you can also reach out to us at the No One Stands Alone Foundation and we can connect you with one of our mentors.
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